AsiaLIFE

With the fifteenth anniversary of Friends coming up, founders Sebastien Marot and Mark Turgesen sit down with AsiaLIFE Guide to reflect on the story so far. Slightly older and a touch more mature, the philanthropic duo have not lost their spark. Words by Nora Lindstrom.

“How does it feel after 15 years? Like there’s so much more to do!” says Sebastien Marot, who back in 1994 was integral to starting what was to become the Friends empire. “Exactly, it feels like we’ve just begun,” Mark Turgesen agrees.

Fifteen years ago the pair, together with Barbara Adams, were so appalled and saddened by the plight of Phnom Penh’s street children that they decided to do something about it. Known as ‘the dudes’ at Friends, Mark and Sebastien still consider the whole thing an adventure. “Whenever we get a little bored we start something new,” Sebastian says. “Yeah, we’re not the boring kind,” Mark adds.

This becomes clear when you spend some time with them both. Mark and Sebastien talk over each other, crack jokes, complete each other’s sentences and clearly enjoy fooling around. “When I think of Friends I really think of my relationship with Sebastian, because we’ve been through so much over the years,” says Mark. “So much hardship, so much elation and joy, and the feeling of overcoming odds.” He describes working with Sebastian as an honour, and then catches himself. “Did I use the h-word?” he says before they are both overcome with laughter.

Back to the Start

Initially introduced by a mutual acquaintance in Phnom Penh, the two men hit it off immediately, recognising they had a real opportunity to make a difference. “We also realised that feeding the children was actually a really stupid thing to do, because we were just maintaining the system,” says Sebastien. So they decided to do something different. Mark, then 21, was a recent graduate with the world as his oyster. Having spent a childhood watching his mother work at refugee camps in Thailand, he felt compelled to take on the challenge. Sebastien, on the other hand, had only meant to travel through Cambodia on his way to Japan. “Somehow I got stuck,” he jokes. This is not strictly true, as in reality it took Sebastien three sleepless nights to reach his decision.

“If I started this, I knew it would be a long-term involvement,” he explains. “I would have to change my life, my plans. I worked through that, and accepted it.” Once the decision was made, there was no turning back. Sebastien thus became main driver of the project, with Mark and Barbara (who left in 1997) helping out whenever and however they could. Mark calls the first few years in Cambodia the Dark Ages. “We never knew how long we were going to stay,” he says. “We always had a bag packed, ready to leave.”

Although Friends was established in 1994, it was only after the 1997 troubles that Cambodia was stable enough to allow the organisation to really mature and develop. Before that, all activities had been funded out of pocket – Sebastian’s and Mark’s, as well as those of numerous other family members, friends and acquaintances. “After two years of that I said I’d had enough, that we couldn’t do this anymore. That was a low point,” Sebastian recalls. It was a Friday night when he decided the ambitious project would close.“Then on Monday morning we got the call from Save the Children Australia saying they’d fund us for three years,” he continues. “That was the high point.” The rest, as they say, is history.

Together Building Futures

“Our greatest achievement is the kids. It’s all about the kids, all these kids making it,” says Sebastien. “We’re trying to remove ‘street’ from street children, so that they are just children,” Mark adds. Over the 15 years, from initially working only with street children, Friends has risen to new challenges as well as expanded overseas. In Cambodia, the organisation now works with children in prisons, migrant children and drug users. Globally, support offices have been set up in France, Germany, Switzerland and the U.S. Friends-related projects are run in Laos, Hong Kong, Thailand, Myanmar and Indonesia, as well as further afield in Egypt, Honduras and Mexico.

According to Mark and Sebastien, approximately 3,500 children a day take part in Friends’ programmes worldwide. It’s hard to estimate how many kids have benefited over the years – the short answer is many. “It’s in the tens of thousands,” Sebastien speculates. In addition to focusing on listening to children’s needs, a combination of creativity and stubbornness has helped the organisation along. “We don’t really believe in can’t. It’s a dirty word,” says Mark. Stability has been another contributing factor. “I’ve been here for 15 years, I haven’t gone away,” Sebastien adds.

However both Mark and Sebastian are adamant of the importance of not seeing the project as their ‘baby’. “It’s important to let go, let other people take ownership as well,” says Mark. Having spent so much of their life creating Friends, both Mark and Sebastian have a deep and very personal relationship with Cambodia. Yet neither feels bound by the organisation. “I’ve almost been camping for 15 years, always ready to leave. That bag I mentioned...it’s still there,” says Sebastien. Though now a family man it is not his decision alone to make. Mark on the other hand, is on his way. Having waved goodbye to Friends once in 2001, he returned in 2005 before working full-time with the organisation in 2007. Now he is moving to Laos, where he will continue his work with Friends.

The dudes are excited about the future and the several new projects in the pipeline. “Cambodia is changing so fast, you always have to change with the country,” Sebastian says. Unfortunately the problem they initially set out to solve has not gone away. They both agree the situation is neither better nor worse from when they first started, just different. There’s still plenty of work to do over the next 15 years.