AsiaLIFE

Some were born into an expat life, some are running away from their original home, others have come here in order to start a new life. What is it that drives people to live an expatriate existence? Why have they chosen to settle within this Kingdom? Johan Smits and Marcus Burrows talk with a variety of expats to find the answer to these questions, and to try to discover the quintessential appeal of living in this dynamic city.

There’s no such thing in Phnom Penh as a “blueprint expat” – that quickly becomes clear when talking to them. Their reasons to be here are as diverse as the things they love about ‘the Penh’ and so are the challenges that they face every day. “We absolutely hated it when we arrived,” forty-two year-old Alexis admits, remembering the time when he, his wife Marie from South Korea and their two young sons arrived in the Kingdom.

And it’s not from any lack of ‘expatriate experience’ – it’s pretty hard to be more expat than Alexis is. A fourth generation expat, his father, grandmother and great grandfather were constantly packing their bags and moving to different places around the world, working as civil servants for the French government. Not your typical French household but rather a family of travelling “bohemians” as Alexis likes to put it. So, don’t give yourself a hard time if you have some trouble adjusting to Phnom Penh when you arrive here.

“Cambodia was the first country where I didn’t speak the language,” he says. “Marie and I wanted to leave.” Afte a while the absolute hate turned into a big love, to such an extent that Cambodia is the first country that they have considered settling down in. “Usually it’s the other way around,” Alexis notes, referring to the more common phenomenon where foreigners arrive on an absolute high, but after a few years start feeling that it’s time to leave. So what made this turnabout? 

"We spent a lot of time in the former U.S.S.R. where people are very warm and hospitable and where a high level of intimacy comes fast,” he says. “You know, they slap you on the back, sit you down at their kitchen table with a bottle of vodka and start discussing the world.” Both Alexis and his wife Marie, whom he met in Moscow, speak Russian, which made it easier to connect there.

For Alexis the barrier is higher in Cambodia. Khmers are more distant and they show more reverence. This creates a gap that takes a long time to bridge. “But then, when you finally get to know people, you can start exchanging,” he says. A view echoed by many a long-term expat.

One Country, Two Worlds

Veerle from Belgium agrees. Four years ago she arrived in Cambodia after living in South America for seven years. “In the beginning real contact with Cambodians was difficult compared with the much more extrovert South Americans,” she says.

This problem is less distinct in Phnom Penh than in Siem Reap, her first point of call in the country. She lived among the temples for three years before moving to the capital. “When I first arrived I found two worlds – expats and Khmers,” she says. “But in Phnom Penh there seem to be more mixed activities going on, culturally as well as when going out at night.”

Alexis too sees that split between expats and Khmers, but also amongst expats themselves. “In the beginning we suffered a lot from social isolation,” he says. “But not anymore.” According to him, people who complain about a lack of cultural and social activities in Phnom Penh are wrong. “If you want to go to every opening or event in town, you’ll be out every night of the week,” he argues.

He definitely feels expat. “My nationality is expat, with the good and the bad things that come with it,” he says. For him, expats are a distinct community. “My wife too is expat and, although she’s Korean, I have more in common with her than with a French person.”

However, Veerle doesn’t consider herself like that at all. “I will never call myself ‘expat’,” she says. “To me it has some kind of ‘better than the rest’ connotation to it. I just happen to work here. I live here and am part of it.”

What is an Expat?

Jemma Green shares Veerle’s dislike for the term expat. She came to the country after a receiving an unexpected phone call from her mother, who had just bought a restaurant in Sihanoukville having only come here for a few days for a friend’s wedding. At the time, Jemma managed a restaurant in London so her mother asked her to help out. She came for three months – that was almost three years ago.

“Expat conjures up an image of lots of rowdy Brits on the Costa del Sol, where westerners stick to their own places in the bars and chip shops and don’t mix with the locals,” she explains. “To me living in another country is about living with the local people and living the local lifestyle, coming together and learning from each other and being multicultural. I think as westerners we should integrate more, which would lead us to bridge many divides.”

She feels that part of the problem many encounter while trying to settle here comes from our own pre-conceptions. “What I’ve learnt is that as westerners we should not come here and push our ideals on how Cambodia should be,” she says. “We don’t necessarily know what’s best for the people here.”

As for Bastian, the most recent arrival of those interviewed, he was not even aware of what the term expat meant when he decided to come to Cambodia. “Honestly, I heard the word expat for the first time three weeks before leaving my home country,” says the native Berliner. Turning 40 and finding himself single, he went through a period of uncertainty many readers will readily identify with. “You can call it a mid-life crisis,” he accepts. “I call it the best decision I ever made.”

Deciding to leave his PR job for the German Government he came to Cambodia to work as a consultant for the Salvation Centre Cambodia, working with people with HIV. Being gay, the circles that Bastian floats in are somewhat different from the others interviewed. “I’ve noticed the burgeoning gay scene reflects how hard it is for Cambodian gays to live life openly,” he says. “None of my friends have told their families about their being gay. They’re afraid of being discriminated against and disowned. I think it may take some time before this society becomes really liberal.”

Despite his recent arrival, he has one tip for fellow expats. “I think people here are a mirror, once you start smiling at them, they smile back at you and you feel loved,” he says. “That’s why I try to keep my positive approach to this culture. It opens lots of doors and hearts.”

Asian Expat

Thirty-three year old Yi-He from Manchuria is another recent arrival. She came to Phnom Penh five months ago to study English and doesn’t feel like an expat either. “I feel like a ‘Phnom Penher’,” she says. “Many people here speak Chinese. Same as in Saipan,” she finds, referring to the U.S. island in the Pacific where she lived for two years before arriving in Cambodia. “I even get into the museum at local rate, as long as I don’t open my mouth,” she laughs.

As a Buddhist, Yi-He enjoys living in a Buddhist country and often visits the temples in Phnom Penh. “Cambodia feels more like China,” she says, “it’s more conservative in its customs and traditions.” Compared to Saipan, she prefers the Cambodian way. “Americans can’t relax, they’re too neurotic,” she giggles.

So does being Asian help? Thirty year-old Sophie knows both worlds – she’s half-French, half-Malaysian. Initially she didn’t want to live in Phnom Penh. She arrived in Siem Reap about one and a half years ago to work as an architect consultant on the temples of Angkor. When seven months later her contract ended, she moved to the capital to continue with similar work in heritage conservation. “First I thought that the city was dirty, dusty and full of cars,” she remembers, “but now I think Phnom Penh is a village too.”

Just like Alexis, Sophie has been an expat her entire life. Compared to other cities. She believes the level of development of the country affects the way that an expat fits in. "When I arrived in Rome and couldn’t speak Italian, I could still pass for an Italian or a European. Not here in Phnom Penh, it’s not developed yet to that level. Even if they think I was born Cambodian, because of my Asian physique, they still know I’m a foreigner. They say it’s by the way ‘I carry myself’.”

The Expat Family

Andy and Anne-Marie from Quebec are unequivocal about their feelings for Cambodia. “Every day I feel so lucky at what I see, walking along the Tonle Sap,” Andy says. “Watching the rain splatter down, the sunsets, I have to pinch myself to make sure it’s all true.”

His enthusiasm is very catching. It almost feels as if he’s grinded the whole of Cambodia into a white powder and sniffed it off a toilet seat. “I don’t want this dream to finish,” he says. His wife Anne-Marie recalls how they unexpectedly ended up here with their little boy Jeremy who’s now almost two and a half years old.

“I applied for a job at the ECCC [Extraordinary Chambers in the Courts of Cambodia],” she explains. “The day we were leaving to go on holiday to Germany, I got notice to come to Cambodia. We didn’t know anything about the country. Would they have diapers? What’s the healthcare like?” When they got back to Canada they had barely three weeks to get ready, and to get married. Although the wedding was planned to take place a year later, they quickly squeezed it in between Canada and Cambodia. “It was great,” Andy smiles, “very intimate, just a small group of people.”

But he wasn’t so positive when they arrived. “The first two months in Phnom Penh were like hell,” he remembers. “I was playing Mister Mom, looking after Jeremy all the time and getting paranoid about malaria-born mosquitoes.” But then, contact with other expat families made him slow down. “Finding day care and talking to other parents really helped,” Mister Mom says.

“Jeremy too has plenty of little friends. He’s got two girlfriends now. I actually envy him, I wish I could get back to his age to go to daycare,” Jeremy grins. To Anne-Marie being expat in Phnom Penh is a world of difference from the routine at home.

“We go out and visit places on the weekends, and there’s a great atmosphere here – people are here because they want to, they like to be here,” she says. “At home sometimes people are stuck in their job and their routine, but here they come for a reason.”

But is it Home?

For some expats this city has become their adopted home – they are lifers in the Penh. Freelance writer Nathan Green has lived extensively throughout Southeast Asia. He plans to stay. “There was something a little too easy about living in my own country,” he says.

However, working here has not been as easy or as affordable as he thought. Too many temptations makes his a far from cheap lifestyle. Not that he regrets his decision to come here, both on a personal and professional level – far from it.

“As a writer, it's a fascinating place to live,” he explains. “One of my main reasons for coming here was to witness, and perhaps document, the country's hard slog out of poverty, and how it affected people. I wanted to write about the return of hope, and what people who had done without it for so long would do if it came into their lives again.”

Hannah Stevens, of Epic Arts in Kampot, is equally enthusiastic about life here. “I feel lucky every single day,” she says. Something she did not feel back in her native U.K. “I have a much clearer idea of what is truly important in life when I am here. Every day I am inspired by the people that I work with and the friends that I surround myself with.”

She admits that Cambodia has taught her patience. “I generally live my life at 400 miles per hour so I appreciate how Cambodia forces me to slow down,” she says. “Over time I have learnt to not allow things to frustrate me as it only brings about negativity.” Unlike Nathan, she is undecided as to what the future holds. “At this stage I am planning on staying another two years,” she says. “But who knows what will happen!”

Veerle on the other hand is sure she won’t settle here forever. “I’m glad to have made the step,” she says, “but I won’t root down here as much as I did in South-America.”

Sophie too won’t settle here. For her, safety is an issue. “I don’t feel at ease with the level of impunity here and the virtual absence of law,” she says. “As a foreigner you might not be easily confronted with it because of your ‘status’, but just the knowledge that it is happening, it’s not very comfortable.”

City in Flux
But was amazes her the most is how fast Phnom Penh has changed since the nine months she has been living in the city. “Even if you go away for just a month or so, things change noticeably,” she says, “a lot of new development.”

That’s also what Alexis notices. “What has changed here over the past three years is very significant – compare this with a city like Paris and it’s stunning,” he says. “Not just in development but also in people’s heads. Their professional ability has improved a lot. I can see that with the people who are applying for a job – their level of knowledge and competence has increased significantly from a few years ago.”

This seems to be a point every body agrees upon. “I only hope that Phnom Penh will evolve in the right direction with green spaces etc.,” Andy says. “It’s a beautiful city and I hope it will grow into an even more beautiful place for everyone to enjoy.”

Is Phnom Penh a city that can be summed up in a few words?

“Easy mess,” says Alexis.

“Pleasantly busy,” Veerle comes up with after a minute of reflection.

To Anne-Marie it’s “a great adventure”.

But Andy doesn’t need to think. “A dream come true!” he says with great enthusiasm.