AsiaLIFE

Though the look itself may be an acquired taste, there is no denying this experience is hilarious bordering on the bizarre, as the staff of AsiaLIFE can tell you. Words by Nora Lindstrom.  

It was the most brilliant idea of the November team meeting. While our colleagues were chattering away, Naomi and I decided that a bit of extra-curricular team-building was in order, and what better way of doing that than dragging the whole crew for a Khmer make-over.

What’s going on has of course been shrouded in mystery. We didn’t want to risk anyone being “busy”, particularly as even Mark is in country on the auspicious day. The boys are consequently as confused as ever when they turn up at Gym Bar on a hungover Saturday morning. Poor James and Conor are utterly perplexed at not needing to bring their cameras, and seemingly terrified they might have to take their clothes off.

Armed with a cooler full of sparkling wine and beer, Naomi leads us to the photo studio. Once James realises what we’re there for he goes off in a huff, expressing his categorical refusal to wear make-up. So much for him being rock ‘n’ roll. To everyone’s surprise Mark’s reaction is quite the opposite, and he eagerly reaches for the make-up, caking Naomi in yellow foundation and powder. He does it so well I suspect it’s not his first time holding a powder puff.

As us girls are getting our fake lashes and several kilos of make-up on, the sparkling wine is disappearing fast. Mark and James have meanwhile retreated outside to discuss the theme that unites all men, football. Conor on the other hand is showing off his Khmer language skills and making friends with the female staff while wearing a long brown curly wig and camping it up. Qudy is the last to get her Khmer face on, and while the whole thing probably looks most natural on her, she starts running around like a headless chicken as soon as the make-up artist is done with her. It looks like she’s about to hurl, but when she eventually finds a plastic bag she simply spits and then explains it is only the lip gloss that tastes really, really bad. Right then.  

Having overcome the lip gloss drama, we get to choose our outfits. Incomprehensibly to the staff, Kate insists on combining a white top with orange bottoms. It takes some arguing, but she gets her way in the end. The rest of us compete over the sparkly tops in a variety of colours. It may be a reflection of our ages, but baby pink is definitely not in demand. Thanks to a large number of pins and a whole lot of stuffing, we’re all eventually squeezed into our Khmer gear and the staff have even managed to unearth a jacket that fits Mark.   

The thing about Khmer makeovers is that they take you into a virtual reality where an utterly distorted sense of beauty reigns. An hour into the experience and you find yourself commenting on how good your friend looks in cheap fake lashes, five layers of make-up, an 80s style comb-back hairdo and clothes at least three sizes too small. You spend time looking at yourself in the mirror, and get annoyed that your friend got the big, plastic diamond earrings, while you’re stuck with a broken tiara and plain necklace with only one fake ruby. But that’s of course also part of the fun – particularly when you get to see the outrageous photos afterwards. Not that Khmer makeovers are a laughing matter. In fact, judging from the attitude of the photographer they are very serious business. As we after giggling and playing around with the strange selection of props in the studio finally get into formation, the photographer painstakingly adjusts our hands, feet, and heads to make sure we’re all in just the right position. It may be the wine or my particular unsuitability to Khmer posing but he comes over to adjust me so many times that even my dear colleagues become exasperated.

Traditionally, there’s no smiling in these photos, but perhaps as an acknowledgment of us being barang as well as slightly tipsy, the photographer orders us to alternately smile and look serious. Not too long after the situation however degenerates into sexy faces, random props, and strange apsara-inspired yoga moves. As we are finally hoarded out of the studio, I find myself unable to part with my fake lashes. Later on I meet Naomi, also still wearing her extensions. Whether or not the experience brought us closer together, there is no doubt it resulted in some utterly fabulous photos.