AsiaLIFE

Challenged with a whole day of eating at Phnom Penh’s Sofitel Phokeethra, Mark Bibby Jackson goes a bite too far. Photos by James Grant.

“Eat me,” the chocolate macaroon cried to me from the tray resting beside my bed. “No me,” challenged the green one beside it. “Me, me,” whispered the blue, completing the trinity of Sirens. I tried to turn over in my bed to get some sleep, but they just would not allow me any rest.

It had all started innocently enough. A challenge from a buddy in the PR business who handles the Sofitel Phokeethra account: “Spend a day in the hotel eating all you want and then write it up in AsiaLIFE,” he’d said. How could I refuse?

After travelling across town in the hotel’s limousine, I arrived in time for a relatively late breakfast in La Coupole. A lavish affair in keeping with five-star hotel restaurants around the globe, the buffet’s row of juices immediately grabbed my attention. Perhaps a quick pick-me-up from the excesses of the night before? I opted to blend some apple with carrot and top the mixture off with a splash of watermelon. The resulting concoction was refreshing and invigorating enough to demand a repeat performance.

With pastries, cold meats, cheeses, soups and dim sum to choose from, I went for some classic bacon and scrambled eggs, mindful that I had a whole day’s eating ahead of me. The eggs, fluffy and milky, set me off perfectly. Although crisp, the bacon seemed a bit too lean for my cholesterol-seeking taste buds. After three refill cafeteria coffees, I was ready to check into my room.

Many hotel rooms include a bowl of fruit, but how many places welcome guests with a tray of homemade chocolates and profiteroles? Thoughts of exercising any restraint flew out of the window. I set into the delicacies, washing them down with yet more coffee, this time made by the Illy coffee percolator inside my junior suite room. The truffles were divine and the profiteroles light enough to persuade you that they were almost healthy.

When faced with a long day of eating, it is essential to ensure that your lunch is light. And nothing comes much lighter than Japanese cuisine. Although open for barely a few months, Hachi has developed a reputation for providing some of the freshest sashimi in town. It did not disappoint.

Starting with the mixed sashimi, I found it hard not to dwell on the melt-in-your-mouth tuna. Doused in wasabi and soy, it was as sashimi should be. Next, the prawn tempuras were light on the batter, allowing the freshness of the seafood to ooze out upon release. Washed down with green tea and served in a beautiful space overlooking the hotel gardens, I began to feel that my challenge might not prove much of a challenge at all.

At this point the stakes were raised. A game of squash in the hotel courts was ideal for working up a renewed appetite for the main meal of the day. Modesty prevents me from describing my match, sufficeth to say that after having consumed half the chocolate output of Belgium, I was happy to survive my hour without being rushed to Royal Rattanak Hospital for open-heart surgery.

As agony is followed by ecstasy so was my game of squash followed by a sports massage of the highest quality at the So Spa. While I waited, a cup of tea was brought to me accompanied by a green macaroon. This was my first encounter with the bite-size treat that was to prove my ultimate nemesis. Soft and seriously sweet, the macaroon simply flew down my mouth without touching the sides.

After the massage I returned to my room to prepare myself for the final battle, ignoring the tray of macaroons that had appeared beside my bed. They could wait; more important business lay ahead of me.

Do Forni is perfect for a romantic occasion. Closed during the day, the Italian restaurant provides candlelit dining at night. Its couched furniture allows you to get intimate with the special person in your life. As I was dining with the Resident Manager, I chose to sit at one of the more traditional table and chair arrangements in the middle of the restaurant, candlelight optional.

A glass of dry prosecco, arriving as if a gift from the gods, set the meal up well. A carpaccio of tuna served under a bed of rocket, capers and tomatoes followed. Unfortunately, the sliver-thin slices of tuna were overwhelmed by the weight of the garnish, which I wished had been served on the side. However, the house ciabatta bread mopped up the balsamic vinegar and olive oil to a treat.

Rack of lamb served with crispy baby artichokes was my main. While the lamb was excellent, with sufficient juice to bring out the full flavour of the meat, the artichokes were a revelation. At first I thought the chef had erred and served roasted garlic instead, but the crisp vegetables still had that distinctive artichoke flavour despite its flaky crisp texture.

Having vowed to skip dessert in order to maintain a degree of decorum, I listened to my host wax on about how divine the tiramisu was. As a person able to resist anything but temptation, the dish duly arrived in front of me a few minutes later. Light and with sufficient coffee flavour as to render an espresso unnecessary, the dessert proved the perfect way to round off the day.

At least so I thought. Returning to my room, my belt buckle relaxed a notch or two, I felt satisfied with my day’s performance. I had forgotten about the three little monsters awaiting me by my bed.

To my undying shame, I confess to having consumed the brown macaroon, but as for the other two, they were left neglected for the maid to clear away in the morning. Alas, the final straw proved too much for my camel’s back.