AsiaLIFE

Will finds himself fleeced - at the barbers.

In a previous column I commented that, whether in Cambodia or wealthier nations, the local barber is a better economic savant than a legion of economists. Part of that is because the barber will give you one answer, whereas two economists are likely to give you three or more opinions. Of course, that assumes you can afford to go to the barber. Unless you're working for a large multinational corporation or a development agency with the letters “U” and “N” in the name, you learn to be frugal in Cambodia. While a certain segment of the foreign (and local) population is chauffeured about in sedans with tinted windows, most foreigners get around on bicycles, a Honda Super Cub or — that luxury of luxuries — the Daewoo Tico. If you are a humble English teacher, missionary or a backpacker, you eagerly trade tips on where to buy a cheap plate of delicious fried rice or what shopkeeper in the Russian Market offers a discount on DVDs.

As a volunteer surviving a monthly stipend that wouldn't buy an iPod, I was elated to discover 50 riel notes. Those small denomination notes promised a newfound power to bargain, to dicker down to the penny (or at least U.S. 1.25 cents). That promise turned out to be a lie, as it didn't have the slightest effect on my bargaining power in the local market. I'd march up the shopkeeper, name my new, low, ridiculously exact price and be met with either a confused stare or a string of shopkeeper chatter, which predominately featured the words “chukewit” and “barang.” I ended up giving most of my 50 riel notes away to beggars, who were just as disappointed with them as I was.

Any experience gained in Cambodia was of little use upon returning to the United States. Businesses in the U.S. generally have a menu of prices already prepared. Clerks rarely have the authority to reduce those prices, and even fewer clerks have any interest in haggling with a cheapskate looking to save a few dollars. And most certainly, you don't want to stiff your barber. Underpaying him will certainly lead to disaster.

While American businesses see little need to lower their prices, the average American journalist is not so lucky with his wage scale. This recession has taught most journalists new vocabulary like “wage freeze,” “pay cut” and “our last edition is tomorrow.” Despite living in the land of opportunity and plenty, I needed to relearn my frugal ways.

Not having money to pay my regular barber, I bought a home barber kit and cajoled my wife into cutting my hair. It seemed like a simple way to save money for other newly luxurious expenditures, like health insurance and rent. My wife, who took a hairdressing class years ago in Phnom Penh, was eager to try it out. Things went well. The reassuring buzz of the clippers and my wife's deft hands was transforming me from a shaggy oaf into a more professional and close-cropped oaf.  Then she said: “Oops!”

When someone is cutting your hair, there's really not much you can do after she says “oops.” Your options are quite limited. Unfortunately for me and my dreams of frugal, professional haircuts, a set of poorly worded instructions for one of the clipper attachments led my wife to cutting off a rather noticeable chunk of hair. An arc of scalp, from just above my right temple to behind my ear, was suddenly exposed. In one smooth motion, she had made me more bald than three years of negotiating the Russian Boulevard on a bicycle.

It was something I could laugh about, I did get what I paid for. Apparently my arc of scalp is something that men 10 years younger and infinitely hipper than me pay a premium for. It may also be a symbol for local gang leaders. That may explain why I'm hassled less often as I walk down the street. Or maybe the botched haircut shows that I'm too cheap to panhandle.

It's their loss, I'd gladly give them 50 riel.

Will Koenig is a journalist in Oregon, where he lives with his wife and son. As of press time, he is still gainfully employed. E-mail: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .