AsiaLIFE

More than 200 years ago, the founding fathers of the United States crafted a unique governing system that spread power among a relatively weak federal government and individual states. They called it federalism. For my Cambodian wife, this is a strange and wonderful system. In Cambodia, the lawmaking process is byzantine and centralised at best. Here in the United States, especially a relatively low population state like Oregon, lawmakers and lobbyists are usually delighted to have a humble resident observe and testify in hearings.

While there are federal laws that require uniform standards on everything from food labels to interstate highway construction, states still have the power to define many of their own laws, regulations, taxes and punishments. So what may be harmless over-the-counter medication in one state is considered deadly contraband in another. What may be a perfectly legal traffic manoeuvre in one part of the country may be worthy of a hefty fine elsewhere.

While this means that making a wrong turn while in the possession of potent cold medication may bring out the SWAT team (which can't be pacified with a fistful of riel), most Americans hear little about it – until the Legislature starts up every year or two. When lawmakers from around the state gather to cobble together a budget and create legislation that may – if all the various constitutional hoops are jumped through – become law, the only thing most Americans pay attention to is talk about taxes. Americans hate taxes, almost as much as they hate socialism. When asked to define socialism, they tend to vaguely define it as something to do with high taxes and Karl Marx, though when pressed they have trouble identifying the latter.

Despite having lower tax rates than most OECD countries, Americans are eager to complain they're taxed to death, taxed upon death, and then shout “Death to taxes!” While the money issues get the bulk of attention from talk show rabble-rousers, the real interesting issues often get less public attention. Many of the activities that my philosopher-lawmakers are working to ban never crossed my mind, but once they threaten to bring whatever it is to a grinding halt – well, is this my last chance to experience it?

One bill would make it illegal to tailgate, or closely follow, a fire engine. I've never done anything like that. My first impulse when I hear a siren, like most people, is to get out of the way. But it sounds exciting, almost as exciting as being a real fire-fighter, but with none of the danger of running into a burning building or performing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on a centenarian. Another bill, inspired by a series of rash of chimpanzee attacks on the East Coast, would ban the private purchase of primates. Owning a monkey has never been high on my list on priorities, but what if I'm missing out? The gibbons and macaques of Cambodia were always entertaining, though I've always been a little scared of gibbons since one in Preah Vihear Province tried to eat my elbow. Is this my last chance to face my fear, adopt a primate and teach it to live in non-human-consuming harmony? Other bills would ban burning the stalks left over after harvesting grass seed, legalise the production of hemp for industrial (but not recreational) purposes, make it a crime to abandon a horse, and stiffen penalties for eating a horse. (Oregon's not exactly ready for Belgian cuisine.)

But what am I, a law-abiding citizen, supposed to do with this rapidly closing window of opportunity? Race across town in hot pursuit of a fire engine with a monkey in the trunk? Alas, I can't afford to do any of that – my taxes are just too high.

Will Koenig is a journalist in Oregon, where he lives with his wife and son. Email him at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .